Saturday, March 24, 2007

हिर् पुत्थ्र्

In which Ludwig pens the beginning of a faux screenplay


हिर् पुत्थ्र् और् जान्लेवा हेलो

(Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)

by

Ludwig Wittgenstein


FADE IN:

MONTAGE - DUSK

EXT. BUNGALOW, DELHI SUBURB

-- LAWN. GARDEN -- The sound of crickets -- A big car
swishes down the street -- A dog barks in the distance
-- A gentle breeze blows a newspaper down the street
Expectancy.

NIGHT

INT. BUNGALOW

-- Large LIVING ROOM. Nouveau riche furniture.
-- Dining table in the distance. Dim incandescent
lights. One from a lamp on a side table next
to a sofa -- A Nimbus 2000 broomstick leans against
a wall -- A pink phone on the side table --
Unnaturally loud clock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Tic...

The phone rings. "Om Jai Jagadeesha Hare" ringtone.

MAN enters from a doorway in shadow. We don't see
his face, it is also in shadow. Silk kurta-pajama.
Banian and naada visible. Gold chain(s), ring.
Paunch. Also, wizard's hat. Wand. Walks to phone,
and after a moment's hesitation, picks it up.

            VOICE ON PHONE
        (female, extremely strong Punjabi aunty accent)
    Haylo. Haylo?

            MAN
    Urk.
        (clutches his chest, emits
croaking noises, and slowly collapses onto the carpet)

            MAN'S BODY
    Thud.

            VOICE ON PHONE
    हेलोजी?

            AMRISH PURI
        (offscreen)
    Muhahahahahahaha...

FADE OUT:

OPENING CREDITS:
...



1. Thanks once again to The Indian Script Converter.

2. Post 100.

10 comments:

Space Bar said...

link not working...

pxxxzusk: pixel dust. commonly found when unworking links lead into ether or white noise.
(like right npow, so that one more WV has to happen)

obohce: Ginger (from William), who knows that English is a funny language where words are not spelt the way they are pronounced, and who spells 'knock' as 'gnock', spells 'oboes' like so.

Ludwig said...

[space bar] Urk. Now?

that man keynes in Bangalore said...

Ludwig Rowling. You have a future- sort of.

Delighted to be reading the choultry again- I have no life.

Toodles

Ludwig said...

[tmkb] thrilled. honored.

Space Bar said...

s'ok now...

Hyderabadiz said...

Happy Ugadi to all....
check this out:
http://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=428755661&size=m
From the team of Hyderabadizzz

Indu said...

hahaha.
bhery bhery phunny

ghzaqszx: New level incorporated by CBFC to rate movies that are schtuffed with masala...enough to make people go 'Urk'

Ludwig said...

[indu] Phew. Ammaiah. Was beginning to worry that nobody got the zoke! It works, eh? It has to be visualized, otherwise koncham kashtamu.

What else gives? 10-4 routine (with 3 chai breaks) continues? :PP

Hey, is your company hiring? A friend's sister from Boston is job hunting...

8&20 said...

future "sort of" is right :). please post some more poetry... (i don't know if you do requests :)

Ludwig said...

[8&20 blackbirds] hey, a "sort of" future is better than none at all!

no one's requested before, this is a first. so will do portry!