Friday, September 26, 2008

WTF Of The Century

We are are very busy but interrupting normal programming to bring you this news flash. This has got to get enough eyeballs before they change/remove the page. Just got to know about this via email.

--- Begin Rant ---

The good 'ol alma mater is hosting this year's love fest/group hug/what you will. So while all the boys are hanging out comparing each others' dicks and portfolios and dislocating their arms patting themselves and each other on the back, hey the "spouses" need not worry. It's all taken care of, you won't be bored and sidelined. See what the page says:
While the IITian chooses to inspire, innovate and transform, here is an exclusive track designed to keep Spouses and Families completely informed and entertained.

The theme for the spouses' track in this year's PANIIT is "Sampoorna" - programs meant for the complete woman, who is able to perfectly balance her personal, professional and public personality. With this in mind we have a galaxy of presenters and performers who are bound to enlighten the IIT spouses.
Here's a little bit of mind-boggling deductive reasoning:

1. All the spouses of IIT alums are women.
2. Some IIT alums are married women.
3. Ergo all married women alumnae are married to women.

Someone needs to tell Kenny, Choxbox and who knows how many more of them to wake up and smell the coffee. There's a duties-of-a-wife poster that someone (SB, BM, Veena?) posted a link to once and we can't find. This is taking that to a new level. 21st century version.

If all this wasn't so thrilling in of itself, there is more later in the page.
Mystic Trail
In the afternoon our Mystic Trail will take you through some of India's most well known practices such as Astrology, Palmistry, Gemology, Nadi and Kili Josiyam.
WTF? WTF? WTF? WTF? WTF? factorial(WTF)factorial(WTF). This is a gigantic WTF, believe you me. In WTFland, it's called the WTGoogolplexF. And WTF doesn't HTML support the raising of WTF!s to powers of powers of powers of WTF!s?

Please excuse while we go off and burst some blood vessels.


And the sting in the tail.
Prepare yourselves for a close encounter with spirituality, fitness and food.

Shilpa Shetty
Start your day with an interactive session...
This is really the only session that seems worth attending at the whole conference at this point, but ah, read the fine print.
(awaiting confirmation)
Nonsense fellows.

--- EndRant ---

OK, back to the grind. Regular programming will resume after the saarangi vaadan is done with. Anon.


Space Bar said...

that was i did that housewife post but can't find it now. sigh. means i have to read my whole blog. how terrible.

in the meanwhile, suggest you take some personable young chap with you and take turns at attending spouse meet.

much fun will arrive.

(and please don't burst blood vessel. dil pe mat le yaar).

Veena said...

SB: I told you to Google, didn't I?
Here - first link on images search.

Luddo: I like this. Now I am going to beg Bill to sign up for this and let me become a complete woman. I will be a complete woman! Yippee!

And as SB suggests, you bring some nice chap no? I will keep him company and take care of him, I promise.

kbpm said...

OOH OOH can I bring a personable young chap too? And where do I find one? Should I be trawlng the streets of NYC for this???

Ludwig dude dont worry. I am arranging a parallel meet during the general lovefest activities. In my meet, we get together and play soccer & basketball till daylight lasts, and then we get drunk til daylight appears again. All are welcome, but personable young men especially so.

Re: Shilps, I think that was my husband's doing. I must check. Meanwhile let me forward this to him and see what he responds with, considering he is on some crappy calls every weekend regarding this shit.

Ludwig said...

[space bar] wot an idea madamji! i think i'll be the spouse.

blood vessel pressure has abated somewhat.

[veena] oh do! please! it will be so much fun if you could be there and put on the complete woman act. i think you should be like a "normal" sampoorna naari 90% of the time, with disconcerting breaks where you fish out a hip flask from the folds of your Kanchivaram 9 yarder and take a swig and do other such things. that should spouse things up.

re: chap, see above. he is going to "to inspire, innovate and transform" while, i (who as spouse am not entitled to inspire, innovate or transform) will spend a pleasant day being coddled by you. ah, bliss.

> And where do I find one?

bring Saand! tank him up and turn him loose in the Sampoorna Spouse Gathering, and see what fun ensues. delicious vision,

> In my meet, we get together
> and play soccer & basketball
> till daylight lasts, and
> then we get drunk til
> daylight appears again.

ah, so some sanity is going to occur. good only.

> Re: Shilps, I think that
> was my husband's doing.

that was an inspired move, if i may say so. i saw her midriff again recently and am recovering with the help of antibiotics. please ask him to spend his time on useful things like making sure she shows up in a leotard or whatever it is New-Agey yoginis wear.

sujatha59 said...

sessions with johnny depp or even our very own john abraham, now that'll help us along in the complete woman process. we'll even burst all our blood vessels. ms.shetty? that's as bad as indra nooyi or kiran mazumdar.

here's another vote for personable young escort.

Anonymous said...

factorial(WTF)factorial(WTF) ... ha ha. Point very well made!

Aparna said...

I also see an assumption that no IITian is married to one... (RMan)

Szerelem said...

you mentioned Shilpa Shetty but neglected to mention Hema Malini - "Who can ever forget Basanti in Sholay? Hema Malini will speak on "What Makes a Successful Woman". Highly recommended for spouses!"

WTF(factorial) WTF indeed.

Ludwig said...

[sujatha59] thought you might enjoy this one :P welcome! i hear ya about the abraham and the depp. maybe we should write the organizers.

[vinu] :) welcome, and thank you, thank you. hopefully it conveys the idea. although i really do wish they find some way to incorporate the factorial symbol and powers-to-the-powers in HTML.

[aparman] weightaana paarty da, laajikally addikkiraan paaru!

[szerelem] welcome #3. i know, in my defence, i was in a hurry to scroll down to Shetty and overshot the Hemamalini. but then it all boils down to midriffs, doesn't it? so... :P

Cuckoo said...

Seriously WTF !!

No one would have expected it coming from the 'highest' educational institution in India. Which world are they living in ?


Anonymous said...

Is this freakin' for real??? Apologies for treading on an (arguably) 'ghar ka mamla' type topic, but this is insane and inexcusable coming from where it does.
The subtext of that website (ok, clearly way too much free time) goes from shock, horror, gasp (again again....again) and I can't see one funny side to it. You wouldn't think there was a way to insult so many sections of people all at once. I'd be curious to know what the boys are doing while wifeys are being kept occupied by parrots and shopping trips. I can't wait to show this to people. And please don't stop being angry..this should cause more distended blood vessels.

Archana said...

OMG, OMG! This is just unbelievable. Just how patronizing do you have to be?

So does this program also involve transferring male spouses into "complete women"?

His Grey Eminence said...

Hi Ludwig. Great post, my first time at your blog, thanks for bringing this to people's attention. I'm an IITD alumnus from way back. I feel (like some of the commenters here) that we should stage a parallel (non)event, but I think it's only fair to first give these dodos a chance to clean up this crap. After all, this stuff was probably thought up by just one or two guys who volunteered to do it, the others actually having real things to do in life.. i.e. this may not have the concurrence of too many alumni at all.

Having said this, I'll add that I've been to one of these PanIIT shindigs before (in fact it was the 50th Anniversary Gala in Washington) and it was a drab and self-important affair. But that one was attended by mostly oldies and bigwigs (some of who got on stage and advised us on how to become as great as themselves). Maybe this one will be a more youthful and light-hearted affair.. one can only hope.

So- let's hope someone influential in PanIIT reads this blog and has some of their offending text (and events!) changed. Or else.. (fill in blanks, let's have some suggestions, right?)

that man keynes wants to be lud's woman said...

Leper, I will be your complete woman. We can go together. I'll ditch my wife and child to learn to be Sampoorna.

I can continue till this gets uncomfortable.


Anonymous said...

So, what are you doing about it?

Ludwig said...

[cuckoo] apparently this isn't as big a WTF as it might appear to us. turns out that most peoples' reaction to this is, "So what else were you expecting?!" which is actually a valid point... ah well.

[dharini] see above :)

[archanarman] yeah, it was a bit much. actually i think in the middle of the whole Sampoorna thing, the parrot astrology thing is being forgotten. to my mind that's at least as big an OMG as the Sampoorna thing.

[His Grey Eminence] wilkommen. i think i tend to agree that this stuff was probably the handiwork of a restricted few, but one never knows. i'm sure they're in the know by now, question is to see if anything will change.

[tmkwtblws] come to my arms, my beamish boy. do continue. or do you want to talk instead about wrecking inter-governmental web servers for a change? i too can continue...

[anonymous] i wrote a blog post about! yippee!!

Pipa said...

Ludwig -- light teesko ra :-)

choxbox said...

why am i not surprised?

Pipa said...

Lude -- ever attended these Ignobel lectures while you were here?

It was a blast:

Ludwig said...

[pipa #1] trying ra!

[choxbox] hear ya...

[pipa #2] nope, somehow missed out on this whole shebang. chalk it down to sheer laziness. do i know you?

Anonymous said...

ah .. Shilpa shetty .. now theres reason enough to check the panIIT website :P

Anonymous said...

choxbox said...

hey all okay?

Ludwig said...

[anonymous] touche

[anonymous] merci

[choxbox] alles ist gut. crazy travel, some work, some partying and so on. happy deepavali!

Anonymous said...

le blog, c'est mort
le blogger, c'est mort aussi

Ludwig said...

[anonymous] certainment pas. je will return mit une post magnifique anon. i'

Anonymous said...

Just noticed that the "spouse" program has now been rechristened as "for the family". All references to becoming a "sampoorna woman" have been erased. Unfortunately for the guys, Shilpa Shetty is no longer on the agenda.. :-)

Ludwig said...

[bonerpakhi] you have a blog!!!

yeah, they've totally done a well left on all the stinkers they got. enthu to pursue this further is diminishing, now the only thing to do is show up for the thing and do nasty things unto them. maybe heckle the "educational innovator" or "innovative educator" or whatever he is passing himself off as...